Shutdown and Debt Crisis Doggerel

Sunday march

“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” – Samuel Johnson

Newspapers used to regularly run poetry, often on headline news of the day. When the New Critics came along and proclaimed that no poem at all was better than a bad poem, newspapers stopped publishing poetry. This was a shame, even though sometimes the poetry was indeed pretty bad. (See, for example, last week’s blog post on “the worst poem ever published,” written about the Tay Bridge disaster.) But good or bad, poetry can supplement journalism, highlighting important details. Its regular appearance, furthermore, made poetry seem a natural part of everyday life.

I thought of this newspaper tradition when coming across a poem on the political blog Xpostfactoid. It very effectively captures, sometimes memorably, the twists and turns of the clash between Democrats and Republicans over the current government shutdown and threatened U.S. debt default.

When I posted this blog last night, there were promising signs that Senate Democrats and Republicans had at last arrived at an agreement. If true, then the House has two days to follow suit, raising the ceiling before the world economy crashes and the “full faith and credit” of the U.S. dollar takes a crippling blow. It’s hard to imagine John Boehner not allowing the full House (instead of just the Republicans) to vote on the measure. If he does, it will pass with a combination of Democratic and Republican votes and we can all breathe easy again.

“Twas the Night before Shutdown” begins, as its author explains, with a shameful procedure that the GOP passed right before the shutdown. The new procedure decreed that only the majority party could bring up a bill to end the shutdown, thereby forestalling any joint attempt by Democrats and moderate Republicans to reopen the government.

Hopefully it will not matter. GOP right wingers these past two weeks have been like kids playing with dynamite, but there are signs that the adults are about ready to reassert control.

Acronyms and references are explained at the end of the poem. Enjoy: 

Twas the Night before Shutdown

By Xpostfactoid 

Yesterday, Kurt Eichenwald tweeted:

Night before shutdown, House changed its rules so that ONLY GOP leadership could bring budget to floor. But it’s the “Obama shutdown.” Sigh. [Details here].

Twas the night before shutdown: the House changed its rules
To hold us all hostage to vain spiteful fools.

Poison pills had been stuffed in the CR with care
To deprive shiftless “others” of Obamacare.

A Senate CR, disenfected and clean,
Was now blocked from a vote by the rightwing machine.

And Boehner with his baritone, and Cruz with his glower,
Took to podiums to prove gu’mmint could not sink lower.

So workers were furloughed and services shuttered.
The president was grounded, th’economy sputtered…

And all of a sudden the government mattered!
And Cruz and his crew with their own spite were spattered.

So what did they did pass, as we writhed in our beds,
But some mini-CRs and back pay for feds. (MG)

Obama stood firm as the debt ceiling loomed,
While Chait, Cohn and Epps feared the country was doomed.

Then Reid and McConnell to a rescue purported
Uncertainly rode while the Tea Party snorted,

And Ryan with a smile served up more poison pills
As Collins blew a trumpet for corporate shills:

“Kill the medical device tax! Extend the sequester!”
Then Cruz crashed a barricade, abreast of Queen Esther,

‘Neath banners bespeaking the hot patriotism
Of those wed to states’ rights, sequester and schism,

Proudly proclaiming that those most inveterate
To defund Obamacare were, in fact, confederate.

To be continued…

 

Notes

A “Clean CR” is a Continuing (Budget) Resolution to reopen the government without special conditions attached.

A clean Senate CR would have passed 54-46 only Republican senators filibustered it.

Mini-CRs are attempts by Republicans to fund whatever parts of the closed government are getting the most complaints (national monuments, national parks, death benefits for families of recently killed soldiers, promised pay for furloughed employees).

Jon Chait, Jonathan Cohn and Garrett Epps are three respected political columnists.

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) and Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) both offered “compromise” proposals to Democrats that were rejected since they both demanded Democratic concessions without offering any Republican concessions in return (other than reopening the government and not crashing the world economy). Ryan also attacked Collins’ proposal.

Ted Cruz and “Queen Esther” (Sarah Palin) were part of a right wing demonstration Sunday that crashed barricades surrounding Washington monuments to protest the government shutdown (?!), during which time a Confederate flag was displayed.

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